Black coffee

Albert and I have been to a party already and the punch was delicious – he is insisting I drink lots of black coffee before we go out this evening; why, I can still type?

 

 

Spanish Basil

I forgot to tell you about the cat named Basil, he came into the local bar and appeared to be listening to the singers; he particularly liked Frank Sinatra numbers?

 

 

Boggle Hole greetings

I am sorry Mathew McFligg from Boggle Hole, you will have to find your own dentist. 

Try Scarborough.

A meeting with Veronica

I spoke to my pal yesterday and have arranged to meet her soon - I have a lot to tell her.

 

Turkey tale

My travelling companion, the turkey was purchased from Marks and Spendchurch with an original price of £85.00 – roughly $160.00 Australian dollars; my bargain price was £12.50. 

Albert was impressed with my good buy and he is sending me out again today.

 

Steak and a bus driver

I travelled home on the bus yesterday with a turkey – I will tell you about the turkey later.

The bus stops at a large hotel and Oscar Bridgefair hopped on the bus carrying a large carrier bag (advertising the hotel nearby) he waved and sat next to me asking about the turkey.

Not telling you - but will enlighten you about the carrier bag he was clutching – it contained nine steaks that the new chef had cooked blue instead of medium; oh Oscar is a porter at the hotel.  Gist of the story is that chef was going to bin the steaks and Oscar asked him for them.   Oscar gave me two steaks and the bus driver one and he gave them all away during the course of the journey home.

I have had some unusual journeys but this was unique.

 

Not many Euros

I asked Albert to take me on a jet ski – I cannot print what he said but it was rude.  I insisted that it would not cost many Euros and they had a special deal on Sundays; he still showed a lack of interest and he has the money; how mean.

I shall go on my own next time and send photos to Veronica.

 

Christmas present

Albert presented me with a bracelet for Christmas and I bought him a jigsaw and a dot to dot book.

To date Veronica has not commented.

 

 

 

Down South

Albert and I did go south and then flew to Tenerife which was a surprise but of course he had rented out our house.

Lots of incidents on this holiday but first I shall tell you about the Nativity Play which was held in the village square -  on the main stage adults were singing and playing instruments and beneath the stage the children were waiting for their cues. The atmosphere was tense, an angel was fighting with a king, Joseph was singing, Mary hitched up her robe to scratch her bottom but all eyes were on the Angel Gabriel; he was in charge of Jesus who was unceremoniously hitched under his arm and then he threw him in the crib. 

The Spanish lady sitting next to me kept hugging me and shouting ‘Bravo’ – I was having difficulty hanging on to my gin and tonic and could not stop laughing

And there was more ………….

 

 

Oh Elvis

I am back to the cat having dementia, he forgets he has been out when he comes in ……….

I have four hundred emails and sixty five requests to be my friend on social media.

Veronica knows I have returned but I think I shall hide for a few days.

 

 

Leaving home

We need to be out of the house early in the morning ready for Albert’s Canadian visitors.

I need to clean up and pack, see you at the end of December.

I told you where I was going.

 

The whole story

Just hours after mentioning my dentist - my tooth fell out, was it an omen or tempting fate; it certainly was my fault.

I shall never mention Mark again other than to thank him for restoring my smile; he is a genius.

 

 

Dentist again

I should never have mentioned my lovely dentist – I will tell you what has happened later.

People in drawers the story

Over the years I have received many memorial cards for dead people, usually with a picture and a brief description of their life.

I have no set place for these items and I was describing to a fellow writer the scenario – for example Blanche turns up often, she was the mother of many children; a bit like the old women in the shoe and also the beautiful mother of Veronica.  Josephine also was the mother of many children and was sent to me from Australia; Joseph was from London, the father of a good friend and he went on his way with the words from Bat out of Hell which was also on his memorial card, and there are more.

Back to the fellow writer, she thought this tale was the beginning of many short stories so if you ever read a story by Nelly Diamond remember it was my idea first.

People in drawers .......

I thought I would give you the title first and the story tomorrow ....
I am busy

 

 

 

A kind dentist

My dentist reads my blog so I shall wish Mark a happy Christmas and hope I do not need to see him soon.

 

 

Lost wings

I bought a large supply of Christmas cards featuring fairies and Father Christmas and have written and sealed them ready to send off to ‘special’ people – still not good enough for Veronica!

Imagine my dismay to find two pairs of wings lying on the ground; I am not opening all the envelopes to check; I just wonder who has wingless fairies?

 

 

A visit

When in Derbyshire we decided to go up market and visit Chatsworth House, Alice in wonderland was there too.
 

Visitors to the house were invited to write labels and tie them on a Christmas tree – this I did telling Santa I had been good and would he bring me presents and plenty of gin.  Violet Rose asked Santa for a wife for her eldest son and the rest of the party made deep meaningful requests!

 

 

Steve Hogan

I once met Steve Hogan on a plane; he spoke to me – asked me what time it was and then fell asleep; I must be boring.   Myrtle Handbag knows him too, she serves him coffee in a secret location.

I heard Steve’s melodious tones on the radio this week, he was reading a piece by Tania Hershman, I wonder if she is famous?

 

 

Christmas cards

I am only up to ‘C’ in my address book and feel tired already!

I think I shall email my younger contacts but poor Auntie Bertha, Eileen and Uncle Ernest Woodbine need cards; it is a long way to go before I get to ‘W’.

Veronica requires a special card.

A turkey

I asked Albert to buy a turkey for Christmas and he informs me that we are going south to look after Uncle Claude and Auntie Bridget O’Mooney; do they have a turkey.

Additionally, Albert has let our house to a Canadian police man, his wife and three children for two weeks. 

I am speechless and only hope the policeman is not a mounted one bringing along his horse too.

I did have social plans; I will re-arrange for next year.

 

 

 

A cup of tea followed by.....

Chocolate vodka and a pork pie – divine.

I forgot the Detox!

 

 

Detox diet

Not drinking now until next year and I have not even been near Veronica!

 

Cupboard update

Albert did not re-arrange the cupboards whilst I was away; he just painted the banister rail purple!

Birthday horoscopes

We bought a wacky horoscope book to check on Mabel Elizabeth’s love life and current prospects – no messing; it said she was going to hell; and her sister!
 
My star readings said I was to become famous and rich?

A walking plan

I forgot that Mabel Elizabeth was not to be trusted and agreed to join her and five other friends for a walk.  Do not worry said Mabel Elizabeth, the walk should take no more than three hours …………… nearly five hours later having fallen in the mud, been assisted and pushed over walls and limbo dancing over trees we arrived back at our holiday cottage.

Never, ever again!

 

Home again

I am back from Derbyshire and I forgot Elsie!

Oh Elsie

Sorry Elsie I know I promised to take you to the seaside – I will pick you up on the way back next week.

Veronica is not available.

A bit of a do

I have been invited to an extended party – Mabel Elizabeth is an undisclosed age next week together with her twin sister and they are having a shin dig. 

There are lots of people invited and we are celebrating in Derbyshire; so staying away is necessary.

Albert will be ok because I have baked and he needs to stay home to look after Elvis.

Back early December.

Art Gallery, Museum and a pub lunch

Shall I leave it at that or tell you more?

I might tell you the story of our day out in stages – we travelled many miles to Leeds; we did not notice the distance because we chatted all the way there.

We were in a museum where there was a dressing up box which Veronica had not seen – when she turned round I was wearing a  long, white,  curly  wig; looking like an elegant judge ………. she screamed and we were making so much noise were almost thrown out.

We were thrown out of an art gallery once for touching a painting.

Blogger information

According to the latest news on blogs you have to declare if you are advertising – of course I am! 

This is a promotion site for me and my lovely pal Veronica – non profit making and just for a laugh.

 

 

Ice Rink

I have just discovered there is an ice rink nearby; I hope that Veronica is not thinking of a skating adventure.

 

 

a message

Veronica communicated with me stating that we are catching an early bus – no further instructions?

 

Need to know

Tried to telephone Veronica but she is out of range again; I want to know if I need a lot of cash for our day out and Albert asked if I will return before it is dark?

I cannot answer his question at the moment.

Home early

Albert thinks I am unwell because I left home for a night out and returned the same day.

A bus trip

Veronica has decided that we will have a cultural day out on Tuesday, arriving by bus – she will not tell me where we are going.

 

Television

I was mentioned on television – I am so excited, so nearly famous!

 

 

 

Back from lunch

Typing not up to scratch, contact you tomorrow ………. must not fall asleep!

 Oh, yes had a splendid time.

 

 

 

Dustbins again

I have fallen out with Albert over the dustbins; he is insisting I learn how to put them out and when.
 
Enough I am out for lunch with a special friend – practising for lunch with Veronica next week!

 

Doubles

I have two sister-in-laws named Barbara now that is not a startling fact.

However, I have two cousins named Marge Allsop – Marge Clotilde Allsop lives in Halifax, Nova Scotia; I have yet to meet her but communicate on line.  Marge Wendalynne Allsop lives in Cambridge in New Zealand.

I have met Marge Wendalynne several times over the past twelve years and stayed with her and her husband Johnny Dwayne Allsop; Marge Wendalynne is a stunning blonde lady who likes horses and keeps her oven door closed with a broom.

…………. You wanted more, well you will have to wait; sorry.

Horoscope

My star sign today said I was nearer my goal …..  I am waiting!

Tied with a pink ribbon

I wrote to the BBC again, placed my letter in a large blue envelope and tied it with a pink ribbon – someone will notice me, surely?

Recipes

I needed a sardine recipe and contacted Veronica – she sent me a message three times saying she was in the bike shed. 

I am concerned now because she does not own a bike!

I will look for her tomorrow and get the proper story.

New Zealand and Australia

An opportunity has arisen for visits to New Zealand and Australia – should I take Albert or leave him at home to look after Elvis.

Veronica said I should take him to carry my suitcase.

 

Prize related

A mutual friend, Annabel just telephoned me and mentioned that normal people usually win a box of chocolates in a raffle – what does she mean?

A prize

Last year Violet Rose and I travelled to York for a Christmas event and I won a Christopher Guy chair (famous interior designer) the said chair is still covered by a blanket awaiting collection by an eBay buyer. 

We went to a similar event yesterday and I purchased two raffle tickets – Violet is standing by her telephone to see what I have won this year?

Worried

Veronica is sending me messages in triplicate (on email, facebook and on her mobile) which is a worry – I will telephone her and ask what her problem is.

Not dusting

Of course I am not dusting, Violet Rose and I are going to a Christmas event; I could dust when I come back but it will be rather late and dark!

Disappointment

I was supposed to be staying with Imelda Appleblossom from Pudsey, on Saturday and she promised me gin for breakfast, with my bacon and eggs because I do not like white bread.

Imelda and I were going to be tourists in Sheffield and have a posh lunch but now she is ill.

 
I casually informed Albert about my disappointment and told him I may stay in and dust; plans may change!

 

Away up North

Albert and I were away at the seaside, I told you about it.  We used our balcony to sit and read because it was warm and sunny … how did he know it was going to be warm.

Bought a large bag of Scarborough winkles for a friend – I will not eat any of them as I do not like them.

 

This morning

I am tired this morning – it was all the laughing; crying and drinking last night and I do wish Veronica had not told me that Madam Butterfly died.

The Theatre

We sat near the orchestra next to the harp and cried at Madam Butterfly and the price of the wine!  Never mind I had a handbag full of extra alcohol.

Whilst waiting for our taxi we had a drink in a nearby pub where a very young man asked if he could buy us both a drink …….. When we had finished telling him our husbands were 8 ft 6 in and black belts in judo we said no.

As usual we had a good time and have arrangements to meet soon.

 

 

 

 

 

Are you there BBC?

I still have not heard from the BBC, perhaps they are waiting to give me a Christmas Special on the radio.

I will send them a reminder.

An irish Mother

My Mother would disapprove of my outing today as I will not be available to get Albert’s tea – tough Mother!  She liked my friend Veronica but would frown upon the gin adventure; you cannot watch opera and drink tea!

Must get ready for the theatre, should I wear my luminous green boots or the silver pair – I will ring and ask Veronica.

 

 

Opera and wine

I am out with Veronica tonight at the opera, now this could be interesting.  Veronica usually manages a backstage visit but this would mean we miss the last bus …………

Gin and tonics packed, worried about where to put the ice; better take a bigger handbag.

 

 

A holiday

Albert has booked a holiday for us next week, at the seaside.  A very nice thought, our room in the hotel has a balcony; even nicer he said ……  I have tried to tell him that snow is on its way and he can sit on the balcony on his own.
 
Taking a large book and lots of wine.

A birthday

Elvis forgot Albert’s birthday and I did remind him.

More about the Queen

Anna from Poole rang me to ask if the Queen really rang me – I have told her before she should not believe all she reads.
 
She may have rung  ….

 

The Queen

The Queen telephoned me last night to congratulate me on my new radio programme, the BBC gave her my details.  We were just talking about how informative my blog was ………… when I woke up.

 

 

Looking for me

Veronica has been looking for me, she forgot I was meeting with my bohemian friends; she wants to know if I have made mincemeat this year.
 
She is dubious about my claims to be a genius and insists I make mincemeat with love and special care, why?

 

Goth weekend

Violet Rose bought me a black lipstick from Whitby at the Goth weekend – should I wear it with my red or green earrings?

 

 

 

My writing friends

Oh what a time we had, eating, drinking, talking and talking …..

I cannot possibly tell you all we spoke of because one day one of us will be famous and the comments of the day will be important.

 
The respectable members of the group left early and Claudette and I went drinking followed by a chilli.

Did I tell you where we went, I will tell you tomorrow.

 

 

Will I make it?

What if I do not turn up tomorrow to see my visitors?

I fell downstairs and banged my head on Albert’s precious grandfather clock – it will take more than make-up to disguise the bruise on my head and the clock has stopped!

Today

Veronica is having dinner out today with Emilio at the local bingo hall, is she playing bingo too?

Albert and I are going out to buy chickens.

Saturday

I am out for the day with a pen a paper on Saturday – I have a secret rendezvous with a group of writers.

I will report back if it is an interesting day.

 

Veronica will not be joining me because she is looking after a sick nun.

lunch with my pal

We had a wonderful time together today, talked about cabbages and kings and many things ………..  A bit worrying that the waiters at our favourite place recognise us!

Veronica escorted me to the bus stop in case I got lost?         

 

Complaining

I needed to complain about a train journey to Birmingham and thought I was very clever filling in an on-line complaint form.

This morning I had a telephone call from Northern Ireland telling me they did not have a Birmingham, oh bother.

That is it then, definitely looking for Veronica I need a coffee with a wine chaser!

           

 

Pork chops

Albert is cooking tomorrow – what shall I do?

I think I will go shopping and text Veronica with my whereabouts, I still have not found her and I have a present for her.

           

 

 

Dylan Thomas

Do not go gentle into that good night said Dylan – Lindy Hopping is not gentle - I must practise my steps after my allotment visit.

           

 

 

What time is it?

I cannot change the time on my watch because when I did it last time the hands fell off; I wonder if Albert can help me?

Busy this morning digging my allotment and planting my winter broad beans.  Planning to take a flask of soup with me so Albert will have to make his own lunch.

 Elvis where are you?

 

A present

I have a present for Veronica and I cannot find her; I could wait until Friday and knock on her door for trick or treat?

 

 

 

Who is Reg

And then there was Reg, I found a letter from him in my Mother’s underwear drawer, who was he ……… my Dad’s name was George.

 

 

 

A Nurse

My Mother was a Nurse, she used to escape from the Nurses’ Home through the kitchen window for a night out, a friend named Charles used to wait up to let her back in.  I wonder if this is why she would not let me go dancing with Veronica.

Not fair Mother, now I can go dancing without permission. Escaping through a kitchen window would have been so much fun though.

 

A message from York

Kay, a lovely nurse from York contacted me, she said I should be on the BBC; I have duly written to them and said I am available for interview any time.

I also stated that I am quite old and need to be famous before I die.

 

Found her

Veronica is busy baking and Emilio has not been well.

 

 

 

A letter

Veronica wrote me a letter and I am not sure why.  The letter told me tales of her extended family and her Auntie Megs who owned donkeys at Bridlington – she also mentioned a day out in Bridlington.

I am not riding a donkey at Bridlington.

 
Albert I am going out to search for Veronica – back in time for tea.

 

Dancing partner

I have a new dancing partner at Lindy Hopping, his name is Cornelius.  I am having trouble with my triple step though ……

 

 

 

 

A Ball

I have been invited to a Ball, I have a free ticket, the offer of a lift not by coach and horses but like Cinderella I cannot go.

I will tell you later why I am unable to go to the ball.

More onions

My pickled onions are soft – should I throw them away or make a soup for Albert?

 

 

Emails

Veronica has a new email address and is confusing me – where is she anyway; I dusted just in case she called.

Fountains Abbey

Day out with a borrowed dog today, I had to sit in the back of the car because the dog wanted to sit in the passenger seat.

Albert is tired now.

 

Beryl again

I was worried when the Yoga teacher said we were practising wind expulsion moves today – I did not want to sit near Beryl ………………..

 

Sorry Veronica

I did invite you to Lindy Hop tonight; are you meeting me there?

Violet Rose and I have a date with Matilda – I do hope she is kind to us.

Gym cancellation

A message to blog worshipper – my decision to cancel my gym application was due to the cost and not because Albert did not like Darren my 23 year old personal trainer.

I have since learnt that Darren is freelance ………

Winter earrings

I am wearing my amber winter earrings today; Veronica wanted to know if I was wearing a woolly hat too?

 

 

No visitors

I did not dust today; I ran off to a garden centre and then spent all afternoon with Norbert and Duncan.

Albert was worried about me.

Dusting

Veronica, I am dusting today – you never visit me when I have cleaned up.

I bought Veronica a Christmas present yesterday, I hope she likes it – it has not many handles ……….

Bored now, perhaps I should take Albert for a walk or Elvis?

I must contact Norbert about digging my allotment, I am so busy and I have not seen Veronica for two weeks.

 

 

Curry and a river walk

Violet Rose and I went to Wetherby on Wharfe today for a walk along the river and to shop.  We visited our friend Katrina for a laugh and advice; we bought earrings and more scarves.

We had our curry lunch in a local pub and there we met Margaret Mary Bridget Elizabeth a wonderful Irish lady – she told us about her husband who wore his hearing aid badly and snored; but was a great husband.

We did not want to leave she was so interesting but we needed to catch the bus back home.

We are going to meet her again and we will bring along Veronica.

 

 

St Joseph

Albert and I met a Manager from his previous work place – during the conversation she asked him if he fancied coming back to work; I nearly fell over trying to catch her attention

Outcome of the story is that she is going to ask on Monday if he can return part time and I have promised to make her sandwiches as well as Albert’s.

Oh please St Joseph (patron saint of employment) it would make such a lot of difference to me.

New friends

Violet Rose invited me to a jazz and lemonade evening at a local pub – I ditched the lemonade and had a wonderful evening.

I met Matilda and Elizabeth and they are going to teach me to Lindy Hop next Tuesday; sorry Bert I have ditched you.

 

 

 

Gym still pending

Still waiting for Vernon Dwight to call me back about my gym application.

When I mentioned Vernon, Albert sounded interested; I will have to re-consider.

Bottoms up

I have just returned from I yoga and was astonished to learn my yoga positioning was wrong – I should not have had my bottom in the air.

Did I tell you about Beryl who breaks wind loudly and smiles at me?

Gym

I enquired about joining a gym today and I am just waiting to hear from my personal trainer.

Will it hurt, have I got time, will Albert approve?  We will see.

Chutney

Made tomato, chilli and banana chutney today – Albert does not like chutney; shame!

Exhausted

I am tired this morning; it was that long lunch with Imelda Appleblossom and Polly Ditch on Saturday that did it. 

Imelda reminded me that I promised her a trip to Tiffany’s when I win the lottery, did I?

Who are Imelda and Polly – tell you later.

Cupboard update

Albert has missed a bottle in the fridge, Worcestershire sauce – use by date 2009; I will put it on his dinner to check if it is ok.

The Pope

Did I tell you about the Pope bauble that Daisy Tulip brought me back from Rome – not everyone will have the Pope on their Christmas tree.

 

 

 

 

Cookery school

Mabel Elizabeth paid for me to go on a cookery course  (for my birthday) – do not worry Albert I may bring something back with me; however he does think it is for a day and not a week.

I will tell him soon.

Strictly come dancing

I had to turn down an offer of appearing on Strictly because my jiving arm still hurts, I will volunteer next year.

 

 

 

 

Freezing suplies

I made forty eight Yorkshire Puddings this morning and froze them just in case I go away.

Veronica and I have a plan.

Music

Albert is out so Elvis and I are listening to Alfie Boe, I like him but Elvis is looking troubled – I am in charge he is a cat.

I wish Veronica lived nearer we could share a bottle of wine tonight; I think I shall have her half now.

Flying

A new person turned up for the school reunion last night and she told us that she can fly a plane – this was after many glasses of wine; should we believe her. Personally if I could fly I would wear a badge telling everyone, there is still time to learn but I am sure that Albert would be suspicious.

Mauveena came along to our exclusive meeting and gave us details of a murder that she was involved in …………. she refused to tell us the whole story and never returned – she is barred forever as we need whole stories.

Shopping

Violet Rose and I went shopping at a Craft and Gift Fayre this morning and I did try to avoid the lady who sold me shoes and posh tights last year!  My do not look tactics did not work; she admired my nails which have permanent glitter on them because it will not come off and then sold me a pair of shoes in the same colour as my hair – amber violet.

I cannot wait for the cooler weather to wear my shoes and tell Albert that he has seen them before.

 

 

 

School friends again

I was out with some old kids last night talking Rioja and San Miguel.

One meeting someone turned up named Caroline, I remember her, she wore holey vests ……… Caroline insisted that at our age we should never wear skirts or dresses.  I forgot last night and turned up in trousers.

The beginning of the evening was not promising as I had forgotten my purse and Albert was not answering his phone; no problem I called my sister in law in Plymouth –  she only lives a couple of hundred miles away.  She found Albert who kindly brought me cash.

We had a wonderful evening, out again soon Albert.

Ginger beer and a sandwich

I decided not to go to my yoga class today and went to the river side with a friend to drink ginger beer and eat a sandwich.

I felt as if I had played truant from school and of course Albert thought I was practising the cobra at yoga!

Out tomorrow without Albert, I will miss him.

A visit

Veronica and Emilio called to see me today and brought their own lunch – I had eggs!

It was nice to see them and I gave her a bag of apples, a necklace and a jar of jam.

I am sounding boring and normal – I must go out for a day again.

Plans made for Saturday.

An auction

Albert and I went to an auction in Snodland just south of Muggleswick. 

My paddle number (the number thingy you wave frantically in the air) was number 90.  I made a bid for a job lot of green Wedgwood because Albert sold my blue stuff, how exciting all for £1.00. 

When I went to claim lot 56 I was told that I had not made a bid but that number 19 had! 

I will give you no more dreary details but I had to leave my telephone number just in case number 19 turned up to claim my Wedgwood.

After the Wedding

I am back and only fell over once! 

 

The Wedding

Setting off without my new frock, something will turn up!

See you on Tuesday or Wednesday – I have no signal in the outbacks of Northumberland.

 

 

 

 

Eileen

Eileen shared a bottle of champagne with me and then told me that the alterations would take a few days - too late.

Still looking through my wardrobe ...............

Australian suggestion

A friend in Australia told me to drink nothing but water for three days until the wedding.

No I am not surviving on water even for a day and I am sure that Veronica would not approve of this advice.

 

 

A big problem

Albert and I are going to a wedding and I bought a new frock which is pink and lacy.  Since I bought my pink lacy number it will not fit – should I tell Albert, go shopping for a similar model or visit Eileen my wonderful Irish dressmaker?

I contacted Eileen and she said come on the bus and she will fix it and Albert will never know.

Why am I taking my frock on the bus, she will not say – I will tell you later.

 

 

Another Celebrity

I travelled to York today to meet up with some special cousins; we saw Jay Raynor, the journalist and waved.  

Perhaps he did not recognise us?

Fanny Craddock

Veronica and I once went to see Fanny Craddock; she was not very nice and cooked in a green ball gown.

I still cook in a green ball gown!

This is the story Ursula

I mentioned that we had been thrown out of a pub and Ursula from Auckland wants me to tell her the full story.

 I would not want to bore you so this is the shortened version.

 We arrived at the pub in question with friends and our table was not ready, we waited 45 minutes for our starters, our steaks arrived all cooked the same when one of the party wanted his rare.  The state of the steaks caused some conversation amongst our party when suddenly the couple behind us stood up shouting that they were upset at the mention of blood, the landlady appeared like a whirling dervish and demanded that we leave………   

There was more but another time.

 

We had been mistaken for someone else but it was unnerving; not eating out in this area for a while.

 

Seaside with Veronica

If Veronica has a headache this morning it is my fault – sorry friend.

Very unusual day spent with cousins, friends and nuns?

May tell you later ……………..

Where is my flour?

When I returned last week from Ilkley Albert had re-arranged my cupboards again, this time I cannot find the flour or sugar.

Today was different, when I came back from a long lunch he had moved my compost bins – I am sending him to the allotment.

Lunch today

I told Veronica that I had been out for lunch, she is annoyed that I did not invite her; but I am seeing her tomorrow.

I will buy her an extra drink.

Albert's brambles

I forgot to tell you that Albert and I picked brambles in the local cemetery where there is a public nature reserve.  I relayed this story to a relative who said it was because the soil was so fertile in the cemetery!

I am not eating the brambles.

 

 

 

 

 

Greenfly

I have greenfly on my marigolds and I am sure a certain Lilac rabbit has been feasting on my sprouts.

 

 

 

 

 

Scones

I baked Albert some cheese scones for his lunch – just in case he has to cook his own dinner when I return?
 
Looking forward to seeing Veronica tomorrow.

 

 

 

 

Coffee, cake and wine

Violet Rose and I have been invited out for lunch tomorrow and Albert is giving us a lift – should I tell him that lunch includes home made wine?

 

 

 

 

 

 

A hobby

I filled in a form today to join a walking football club – I struggled with Albert’s signature and some of the answers but feel sure it will be worth the effort.

 

 

 

 

Another day out

I am having a day out with Veronica on Thursday, but with Emilio and Albert too.

A Wake

Albert and I went to a Wake this afternoon – an elderly couple from over the road decided to have a bit of a ‘do’ whilst they were still here.

1940's music, singing and dancing what a great way to spend a Saturday afternoon; Albert had a good time too!

Yes, of course I enjoyed it.

A visit to the doctors

I have a bad arm, on analyzing the problem the doctor and I have decided that I have been jiving too much.

Sorry Bert, I need a few weeks off – I shall be back.

Today

I think I shall stay in today and blanch beans.

Bud and Shrek

The above pair of very friendly gentlemen ran a great bed and breakfast place in Ilkley, not telling you where it is because you will all want to go – never had B & B with whiskey thrown in!

Did I not tell you I had been away again, went for a short holiday with Mabel Elizabeth who needed a break; I just went along for company.  In the B & B were eight German Morgan car drivers, we were hoping for a lift into town but never mind; they were interesting and have invited us to Germany  – must save up for a Morgan.

Sloes

Veronica is telling me that the sloes are nearly ready, would I recognise one? I think we should have a sloe day out; I have plenty of gin in case we find some.

Or shall we just buy some and have a day out anyway?

 

Brambling

According to local social media site Veronica has been out brambling, I thought this was a good idea and took Albert out for the day.                                    

I returned scratched, bitten and stung but have lots of brambles.  I also fell into a ditch and had to be rescued by Albert who surprised me by saying he enjoyed his day out.

 

 

Dumped

Veronica thinks I have dumped her because I have not contacted her – I have and she did not answer me; I think I need a new phone.
 
Ring me then Veronica.

Partying

I went to a party with Mabel Elizabeth and sat next to a very quiet young lady – talk to her said Mabel Elizabeth; I tried and the same lady passed me a note saying she was deaf and dumb.  Mabel Elizabeth was nowhere to be seen.

 

                                                                                           

A visit

Mabel Elizabeth, Violet Rose and I went to Wetherby on Wharfe today and met Katrina, she lives at No 6 Something Street – I only went in to buy a scarf and left with 3 scarves and a lacy top.  Now Katrina was a find, we were given advice on romance and finance and she told us that her aunt was a famous writer.   Bother I forgot to ask if I could borrow a book of her aunt’s, never mind she knows I will be back because I offered to look after her shop at lunch time;  after my stint at Sid and Nancy’s place.

 

Out for the day

When I come back from my day out I must tell you about Spud and Shrek, remind me.

 

My shed

Maude, my sister in law suggested that I turn my shed into a coffee house (a wine house when Veronica visits) and then Albert cannot say I am out because I am in!

 

 

 

Money as well

Sid and Nancy Money have upped their offer to include payment as well as the vodka deal and they will collect me.

I have decided that I shall go but will wait until Albert returns from his holiday until I tell him.

I wonder if Violet Rose would like to learn about concrete – I can share my vodka with her.

 

 

 

Next week

Sid and Nancy have been in touch from the Concrete, Dog and Kipper Shop; they want me to look after their business for a day.  I have been offered ham sandwiches and large vodka and oranges.
                                                                           
My knowledge of concrete is scant, I am frightened of dogs and I do not like kippers – I will let them down gently.

 

 

Morning coffee

I have friends calling for coffee tomorrow and Albert has an unexpected dental appointment; such a pity as I would have made him nice coffee. 

They are staying for lunch too!

 

 

 

Busy packing

Albert is upstairs packing for his weekend away, how will I manage? 

I am not telling Elvis that Albert is away because last year he developed a limp and cost me the price of an x ray and anti limp tablets.  I will put a hot water bottle in his basket and buy him extra vitamins.

Have a good time Albert

 

Veronica is not talking to me

I should have told her that I was contacting the local paper about an interesting story; and I did not mean to mention how old she was.

Changing the story

I am back.

Need to massage the story that we got thrown out of a pub -

working on it.