Black coffee

Albert and I have been to a party already and the punch was delicious – he is insisting I drink lots of black coffee before we go out this evening; why, I can still type?

 

 

Spanish Basil

I forgot to tell you about the cat named Basil, he came into the local bar and appeared to be listening to the singers; he particularly liked Frank Sinatra numbers?

 

 

Boggle Hole greetings

I am sorry Mathew McFligg from Boggle Hole, you will have to find your own dentist. 

Try Scarborough.

A meeting with Veronica

I spoke to my pal yesterday and have arranged to meet her soon - I have a lot to tell her.

 

Turkey tale

My travelling companion, the turkey was purchased from Marks and Spendchurch with an original price of £85.00 – roughly $160.00 Australian dollars; my bargain price was £12.50. 

Albert was impressed with my good buy and he is sending me out again today.

 

Steak and a bus driver

I travelled home on the bus yesterday with a turkey – I will tell you about the turkey later.

The bus stops at a large hotel and Oscar Bridgefair hopped on the bus carrying a large carrier bag (advertising the hotel nearby) he waved and sat next to me asking about the turkey.

Not telling you - but will enlighten you about the carrier bag he was clutching – it contained nine steaks that the new chef had cooked blue instead of medium; oh Oscar is a porter at the hotel.  Gist of the story is that chef was going to bin the steaks and Oscar asked him for them.   Oscar gave me two steaks and the bus driver one and he gave them all away during the course of the journey home.

I have had some unusual journeys but this was unique.

 

Not many Euros

I asked Albert to take me on a jet ski – I cannot print what he said but it was rude.  I insisted that it would not cost many Euros and they had a special deal on Sundays; he still showed a lack of interest and he has the money; how mean.

I shall go on my own next time and send photos to Veronica.

 

Christmas present

Albert presented me with a bracelet for Christmas and I bought him a jigsaw and a dot to dot book.

To date Veronica has not commented.

 

 

 

Down South

Albert and I did go south and then flew to Tenerife which was a surprise but of course he had rented out our house.

Lots of incidents on this holiday but first I shall tell you about the Nativity Play which was held in the village square -  on the main stage adults were singing and playing instruments and beneath the stage the children were waiting for their cues. The atmosphere was tense, an angel was fighting with a king, Joseph was singing, Mary hitched up her robe to scratch her bottom but all eyes were on the Angel Gabriel; he was in charge of Jesus who was unceremoniously hitched under his arm and then he threw him in the crib. 

The Spanish lady sitting next to me kept hugging me and shouting ‘Bravo’ – I was having difficulty hanging on to my gin and tonic and could not stop laughing

And there was more ………….

 

 

Oh Elvis

I am back to the cat having dementia, he forgets he has been out when he comes in ……….

I have four hundred emails and sixty five requests to be my friend on social media.

Veronica knows I have returned but I think I shall hide for a few days.

 

 

Leaving home

We need to be out of the house early in the morning ready for Albert’s Canadian visitors.

I need to clean up and pack, see you at the end of December.

I told you where I was going.

 

The whole story

Just hours after mentioning my dentist - my tooth fell out, was it an omen or tempting fate; it certainly was my fault.

I shall never mention Mark again other than to thank him for restoring my smile; he is a genius.

 

 

Dentist again

I should never have mentioned my lovely dentist – I will tell you what has happened later.

People in drawers the story

Over the years I have received many memorial cards for dead people, usually with a picture and a brief description of their life.

I have no set place for these items and I was describing to a fellow writer the scenario – for example Blanche turns up often, she was the mother of many children; a bit like the old women in the shoe and also the beautiful mother of Veronica.  Josephine also was the mother of many children and was sent to me from Australia; Joseph was from London, the father of a good friend and he went on his way with the words from Bat out of Hell which was also on his memorial card, and there are more.

Back to the fellow writer, she thought this tale was the beginning of many short stories so if you ever read a story by Nelly Diamond remember it was my idea first.

People in drawers .......

I thought I would give you the title first and the story tomorrow ....
I am busy

 

 

 

A kind dentist

My dentist reads my blog so I shall wish Mark a happy Christmas and hope I do not need to see him soon.

 

 

Lost wings

I bought a large supply of Christmas cards featuring fairies and Father Christmas and have written and sealed them ready to send off to ‘special’ people – still not good enough for Veronica!

Imagine my dismay to find two pairs of wings lying on the ground; I am not opening all the envelopes to check; I just wonder who has wingless fairies?

 

 

A visit

When in Derbyshire we decided to go up market and visit Chatsworth House, Alice in wonderland was there too.
 

Visitors to the house were invited to write labels and tie them on a Christmas tree – this I did telling Santa I had been good and would he bring me presents and plenty of gin.  Violet Rose asked Santa for a wife for her eldest son and the rest of the party made deep meaningful requests!

 

 

Steve Hogan

I once met Steve Hogan on a plane; he spoke to me – asked me what time it was and then fell asleep; I must be boring.   Myrtle Handbag knows him too, she serves him coffee in a secret location.

I heard Steve’s melodious tones on the radio this week, he was reading a piece by Tania Hershman, I wonder if she is famous?

 

 

Christmas cards

I am only up to ‘C’ in my address book and feel tired already!

I think I shall email my younger contacts but poor Auntie Bertha, Eileen and Uncle Ernest Woodbine need cards; it is a long way to go before I get to ‘W’.

Veronica requires a special card.

A turkey

I asked Albert to buy a turkey for Christmas and he informs me that we are going south to look after Uncle Claude and Auntie Bridget O’Mooney; do they have a turkey.

Additionally, Albert has let our house to a Canadian police man, his wife and three children for two weeks. 

I am speechless and only hope the policeman is not a mounted one bringing along his horse too.

I did have social plans; I will re-arrange for next year.

 

 

 

A cup of tea followed by.....

Chocolate vodka and a pork pie – divine.

I forgot the Detox!

 

 

Detox diet

Not drinking now until next year and I have not even been near Veronica!

 

Cupboard update

Albert did not re-arrange the cupboards whilst I was away; he just painted the banister rail purple!

Birthday horoscopes

We bought a wacky horoscope book to check on Mabel Elizabeth’s love life and current prospects – no messing; it said she was going to hell; and her sister!
 
My star readings said I was to become famous and rich?

A walking plan

I forgot that Mabel Elizabeth was not to be trusted and agreed to join her and five other friends for a walk.  Do not worry said Mabel Elizabeth, the walk should take no more than three hours …………… nearly five hours later having fallen in the mud, been assisted and pushed over walls and limbo dancing over trees we arrived back at our holiday cottage.

Never, ever again!

 

Home again

I am back from Derbyshire and I forgot Elsie!