Keeping up with fashion

My hair is purple again but I spent a month having normal colour hair – it was difficult.

Spuds and strawberries

Albert has re-arranged my cupboards again; I will leave him to it and stick to sorting out my spuds and strawberries.

 May go to Glastonbury ….. I wonder if Veronica is back.

Oh Bert

Bert was not dancing well tonight and the reason - he had left his bike clips on, bless him.

Not missing

I had to come back because I am dancing with Bert tonight.

Not heard from Veronica.

Lunch or no lunch

Albert has a dental appointment today but was worried he may faint; the reason being because he had no lunch.  I told him very assertively that he is able to ‘cook’ a sandwich!

I think I shall be missing on his return.

A bucket

Veronica is at the seaside today I hope she has taken her bucket and spade?

 I should have asked her to bring me a crab.

Statistics

According to a make-up database I should no longer be wearing mascara, rubbish I shall change my date of birth!

A present

Did I tell you that a friend bought me a session on a bouncy castle?  I think I shall change the name and give it to Albert.

Well done Merv

Whilst on the cruise I was asked to dance by Merv, a tall handsome American; he was teaching me some new jiving moves.  All was well until he was approached by two angry women, his sisters named Beth and Bunty – they proceeded to tell him his wife was looking for him.

We had just moved from the Pushspin into the Octopus when his wife Tianna arrived insisting she had been searching for him for three hours.

 I was entirely innocent and will stick to dancing with Bert in future.

 

Been busy

I have been so busy and then there was the lunch with Veronica for our birthday; she got the wrong venue and I caught the wrong bus home.

                     

The lunch, yes it was good but there was a mix up with the olives.

String

My Grandad said you should always save your string, however you should remember where you put it.

 

 

Famous people

I am having lunch with a well known writer on Friday, do not tell Veronica or she will want to come too.

 

it is dead

 My Christmas tree is dead, Albert will have to buy a new one this year.