New Year Honours

I was asked of course - Dame Eunice Veronica Trotter sounds wonderful ....

then I woke up 😀😀

House sitting

Away in Cornwall for a week cat and house sitting Albert staying at home waiting for a plumber.

Back on 17th 😎

Stocktaking

Stocktaking today and they have offered me a job.

I can take books home to read - no time to dust and cook at the moment.

A job

I am working in a bookshop for the Christmas period - I love it.

Albert is cooking ......

A new phone

Albert has bought me a new, all singing and dancing phone for Christmas.

I am allowed to use it now so perhaps he will forget this purchase?

Working

Back from a National Trust Break planting trees and building footpaths.

Albert missed me.

A hobby

I wish Albert would collect stick insects or similar instead of re-arranging my cupboards and furniture.

Tape recorder ready

I am interviewing a 87 year old umbrella maker tomorrow .......

Four jars

Only three jars of onions to pickle now!

Dreaming

It is many years since I retired, so why did I dash out of bed this morning convinced I needed to make a stationary order?

Busy

Making Christmas cakes and pickling onions tonight.

Albert is away at a football match.

Back from filming

Back in time to celebrate Albert's birthday - I am taking him out to lunch and bought him a bottle of champagne.

I forgot (not really) he does not like champagne and may have to drink his share - cheers Albert!

Casting

I have been called to film as an extra in a stately home in Yorkshire- whoopee!

See you on Monday Albert.

A message

A message for Brenda in Cheltenham :
the hotel stay was necessary due to a collapsed ceiling.  It has been sorted and Albert has an excuse to re-arrange my cupboards again.

Me, I am going to the library.

Insurance claim

Albert and I have been staying in a hotel due to a leaking pipe - back home now.

A letter

I may write to Veronica today ?

A funeral

Albert and I said goodbye to a dear friend today, after the funeral refreshments were served in a nearby pub : tea and coffee cost £1 but beer and brandy were free!

I need a job

I need a job or a windfall - Albert now wants a Rolex watch, currently ignoring him.

A birthday gift

Albert wants a meerkat for his birthday?

Third chapter

I have finished the third chapter of my book  - Sylvia's mother was a chamber maid at The Ritz.

She really did exist and even wore her pearls in bed!

Glad to be back 😎

Allotment check

Checking on friends, compost and mouse boundaries this afternoon.

I invited Albert but emphasized that he would be bored.

I am back

Hello there I have been cycling in Portugal - lots to tell you.

It is a habit

I cannot help it, I looked and Canada love me!  It is also Monday.

Albert and I had stew and dumplings today because it was normal Bank Holiday weather.

I am still available to the BBC.

Finished

I have enjoyed blogging around the world and I will miss you all but the time has come the walrus said ........

It is time to dust and cook Albert's favourite meals (for a while) - I have worn out my gardening gloves and there is a hole in my wellingtons.

What fun it has been; I told Veronica she is dead - she laughed.

I might pop back in once a month on a Monday, just to check statistics.

So back to driving the 25a bus on the A19 - I will miss Eunice and Veronica but perhaps I will return?

See you.

I have not forgotten

The weather has affected my computer - full story soon.

An important announcement

Tomorrow .......

A bus stop meeting

I met a man at the bus stop who told me he was a random man - is that a Cornish expression?

Back to cool Yorkshire today.

Russia

Popular again in Russia.

A night out

A Cornish pub with no beer - we had to share a bottle of Northumberland ale!  

Wrong bus

We were meant to be in Looe not Torquay and it will hours before we can return to our donkey.

Still here

I'm still in Cornwall with Albert - we  have a pet seagull.

Brazil

Brazil like me today - enjoy it I may be gone soon!

Sad accident

Thinking of bumping Eunice off - perhaps an accident with a donkey?

I am still waiting for the BBC........

Could finish my novel?

Plant pots

I have cleaned 402 plantpots ......

New Zealand

New Zealand like me today .......

Ee by gum

Ee by gum (Yorkshire expression) it is hot in Cornwall.

Our donkey is called Dandelion she has a pink straw hat, she's sweet.

Too hot to garden.

Looking for Poldark

At very short notice Albert and I are house sitting in Cornwall, we have two dogs, a cat and a donkey.

We have been asked to paint a fence and potter in the garden.

Veronica is in Northumberland. 

Computer problems

I had to get a man in to mend my computer because Tristan is busy.

Crime writing

I have been to the Crime Writing Festival in Harrogate and did I tell you I am writing a play with a French lady.

Falling

I should have asked Albert to mend the shed roof - I fell off the ladder.

Of course this means I cannot cook ......

Canada

Oh my goodness I am popular in Canada today - they have such good taste!

The truth

I really went to a secret 70th birthday party in Derbyshire.  I couldn't tell you because Ophelia Daisy reads my blog.

Oh the party was wonderful - I drank a lot, ate too much, talked to exciting people and I returned still smiling.

Albert has killed my tomatoes.

Away days

I am setting off soon with Meatloaf and Enya to listen to and a borrowed Sat nav.

Albert is looking after my garden and allotment.

Weekend away

A writers' retreat for me this weekend at a secret location!

Football

Not many views today - must be because of the Football?

Sex and an allotment

Albert does not realize how long it takes to pollinate courgettes with a paint brush.

I have a success story with my sad bay tree - for ten years I have threatened to throw it away.  Imagine my surprise when I planted a new tree along side and tied them together.  Whoosh they are now joined together and have grown three inches !

Home soon Albert.

A bar maid

I have been a bar maid for three days, not my usual back up profession.

Loved it ..............

Seaside

Fish and chips and a paddle today with Albert.

Coffee date

Meeting up with Veronica soon for an Irish coffee.

French story

Ok Richard Snowball - I was just going to tell you that I was popular in France .....

France

Tell you tomorrow 

Potatoes

I came to the allotment to dig up potatoes but it is too hot.

I am currently enjoying home brewed beer in Derek's shed - I will be back for dinner.

A long lunch

Of course I am back from lunch David.

Lunch

Tristan is taking Albert and I out for lunch - we have been ready since 9 am.

A quick meet

I saw Veronica today and we nearly had a coffee ........

Duty visit

I have been away looking after an elderly aunt and Albert has been watching a lot of football.

Veronica

I am meeting Veronica before Christmas - venue to be decided.

Football

Sitting under an apple tree, reading a book to avoid football.

May need to collect a bottle of wine soon?

Bus stops

You meet unusual people at bus stops.

Returning home to Albert from Scarborough yesterday a sprightly 91 year old gentleman was singing to me - he used to work at Butlins.  The lady stood next to him kept asking me to guess her age :  now this can be a dodgy assumption, so I grossly under-estimated which pleased her.

Albert had vacuumed and dusted when I got home.

Scarborough

Twin set, pearls and comfy shoes and I am ready to go to Scarborough to meet a French lady.

I must not be out too long as I only left Albert a salad.

Lovely feet

Christalina said I have lovely feet - that's nice; I wonder if it will help my acting career?

Acting

My casting agent has been in touch about a forthcoming event in Hull.

I am to be in a television  commercial........

A new bed

Did I tell you about our new bed?

I was meeting a school friend for lunch when Albert reminded me we were shopping for a bed.  No problem we took Milicant with us - after she and Albert had finished bouncing on the beds we were nearly thrown out of the shop.   

Then when we buying the bed I was just telling Millicent we were going to Northberland for a week when the assistant put that down as our surname!

My name is now Eunice Veronica Trotter Northumberland!

Home

We are back home and Albert has finished the washing - me I dug up new potatoes for dinner.

Holiday over

Our holiday is nearly over.

I met a young person today who was wearing a flat cap, breeches and a tartan shirt oh and wellies - she said her name was Haroldine?

Hurricane

Albert was in the main street at 5am collecting dustbins after hurricane Hector.

Holy Island

We are still on holiday and planned to visit Veronica but the tides aren't right.

A curry

Albert and I are staying with friends in Northumberland and Maurice is cooking a curry.

Albert and I are out for the afternoon to keep out of the way and I have just discovered Maurice's chillies in my handbag .........

Spain

Spain likes me today.

Helpers

Paddy and Elsie are helping me on the allotment today - they are four years of age and belong to Oscar and Lucy.

I have a supply of lollipops.

Jerk chicken

I promised Albert jerk chicken for dinner but cannot find the recipe?

Digging

I am digging Mrs Delany's garden today and Albert is making a chilly - I will buy him a bun.

Shandy weather

Too hot to garden so I am enjoying a shandy and reading a good book.

Albert is fast asleep with the cricket on!

A party

Allotment party today - I have invited Albert ......

Raining

What shall I do today - it is raining.

Albert says I could practise staying in ?

A horse story

I was going to tell you about Indi and Stella but I will  write about them in my book.

They are shire horses and Stella lives in a mining village in Italy .......

Beetroot and beans

Something is eating my beetroot and beans at the allotment - I need to save them.

As Albert is much improved I am setting off with new netting.

I made him a pear and rhubarb crumble.

Peanut thrifty

Albert and I were in a pub near Irishopburn and we were encouraged to buy an economy packet of peanuts.  The large packet came with a pink elastic band so you could bring the peanuts in another day.

Wonderful.

Albert's sick

Albert is not well,  perhaps I should stay at home this week and take care of him?  He will be better next week ........

Location

Veronica is living quietly on Holy Island - I will meet up with her one day.

Sorry

I am away and have no Wi-Fi back on Tuesday.

Tell you about Veronica then .....

New curtains

Albert has bought new living room curtains and a new toilet seat?

Veronica

I have found Veronica.

A wedding

My neighbour has flashing lights in her hedge and bunting on her chimney - how did she get up there?

In bed

Stayed in bed writing today.

A birthday

It's Veronica's birthday this week and I am not sure where she is?

Not cooking

Salad and more salad - too hot to cook Albert ......... we have wine!

Re-planting

Eric from the allotment committee said I should plant chives and onions around my lettuce plants - so guess what I have been doing today?

I will go home soon.

Not coffee

I dashed out to meet Violet Elizabeth at the local railway station - to drink gin and tonic!

An Inn

I have found a new writing haven in a local pub - I can hide in a corner with a glass of red wine.

Setting off soon after making Albert a sandwich ......

Riding along in my automobile

I have been away catching up with relatives and Albert has been at my cupboards again ........

Too hot

Too hot to garden so I am sat under the Apple tree (my dad's favourite song) with a large shandy.

Albert is busy doing the stairs with his new vacuum.

I am avoiding looking through the window.........

A course

A composting course today I hope Albert does not remember I have been before ......

A new name

I have met strange, quaint, odd, drunk, talented and famous writers over the years on writing courses.

When I am contacted by someone from a previous course asking to meet me I can expect anything.

A date in Scarborough is on the cards - are you coming Albert.

Nuts

Squirrel  Nutkins is not pleased I dug his nuts up in the garden - out looking for nuts at the allotment this afternoon. 

Albert is assembling tea.

Thank you

Thank you Murray Primrose for enquiring about my health - I am good now and have only a small scar.

Country buses

Country buses are so exciting, a lady got on with a lampshade and passed it to me whilst she paid her fare.  Bags of sweets were handed around and my friend and I were included in the chatter.

So much better than the 334 bus from over the bridge .........

A health warning

According to the television Prosecco is bad for your teeth - back to red wine and gin then.

I will write to Veronica and warn her.

Walking

Albert is making walk today - shame I was going to dust.

A lodger

A friend and I were swapping stories of our spouses.

We decided as they were of similar dispositions they would be better off living together - a joke Mary Seagull!

Imagine my surprise when I answered the door to find the other gentleman clutching a suitcase; he had come to live with Albert.

I will move out in June?

Morecambe

Albert took me to Morecambe for a few days - I am very pleased to be home again.

In a cafe

I am taking my notebook and pen to a seaside cafe; it is a long journey so Albert will have to cook his own dinner.

I am having fish and chips ✏✏✏

A night out

Out with the girls tonight - Albert had his dinner at 4.30 pm.

Who?

I found a note in my blue handbag - ring Craig Roy; I have no idea who he is.

A job well done

I returned Julian J's book and was well paid.

Mrs J was out - she doesn't like me because I critised her husband's work but Mrs J I was proof reading! 

Taking Albert out for tea and scones today.

Busy

I am still proof reading .....

Sunday

Albert is tired today so away to check my allotment!

Mr J

Mr J.  asked me to proof read his masterpiece.

Mrs J. visited me and asked me not to proof read Mr J's masterpiece.

Of course I did it!

Too wet

Not weather for gardening so arranged a gin lunch with Ruby.

I invited Albert..... 🐅 but he has a dog to walk?

Cooking

Don't you just hate it when your pearl barley is out of date - by a year!

A night away

Albert is away today so I booked into a hotel for an evening - taking my own champagne.

No tea

Drinking gin today.

Unwell

I have been sick and needed a minor operation - Albert made me 8 cups of tea today.

According to the hospital instructions sex should be OK in a couple of days - the operation was on my face!

Bernard Claude

Bernard has asked me to type his mum's story - she was a shrimp picker from Morecambe. 

Library

Did I tell you that the library sells wine with lunch - may go tomorrow and Albert can dust my shelves.

Locked in

I have locked myself in the bedroom so Albert cannot talk to me.

He wants to come in and tidy my books but I am staying put and writing ...........

Not connected

I have had no wifi and wonder if Albert had something to do with the problem?

Albert is well now and has started spring cleaning.

Feeling guilty

Albert is not well and did not eat his stew.

Another stew

I told Albert I was at an allotment meeting but Clive cancelled.

I will go to the library instead or catch a bus to Leeds.

I don't like stew - it's Albert's.

Creating mayhem

We wouldn't tell anyone why we had Christmas crackers and presents.

That's 2017 Christmas sorted now for this year.

Preparation

Go shopping Albert I need time to get ready for my party.

Christmas shopping

Out tomorrow for a belated Christmas dinner, got tinsel and crackers.

Stew for Albert.

Ready

I have washed my suitcase wheels and could set off again ........

Portugal

Portugal likes me today.

Never again

I am never eating smoked bonga again 😥

Not going out

Returned from Gambia very enlightened.

Albert cannot go out today because I have washed ALL his underwear.

See you later dear, will be back for tea.

Locked in

Albert was meant to be helping the young lady lock her apartment - they were locked inside for an hour ...........

Veronica

I had an email from Veronica, it was short.

Washing line

I didn't steal Ingrid 's string!

A secret meeting

We were told to meet the tour guide in a beach bar, 3rd seat on the left near the wall .........

Albert paid in advance and we were told to appear at the back entrance of our hotel at 10am the following morning. 

We were taken to a car with no number plates and the driver kept stalling the vehicle.

There were many highlights of this day - being abandoned on a beach for three hours but the police chase was the best!

We were stopped by the police and after half an hour went on our way.  The second time we were stopped our driver hit the accelerator and sped off down a dirt track!

Albert and I are fine but still in shock.

Holiday reading

Romantic books seem to be based on Crete and crime in Brighton .......

So brave

Today Albert is a hero - he saved me from a herd of cows and a wild lizard.

By the sea

We are upstream now in a hotel - Albert wouldn't reggae dance with me ! 

Gambia

Need chips had too much white rice!

Albert is away mending fences ......

Aardvarks

Albert and I are looking after an Aardvark farm - will keep you informed.

Will has gone

I had an appointment with Will today, to write his life story.

Sad news from his wife he died last night.

A pity that I will never know about his life as a spy.

Shopping

Snowed in - well nearly I cannot get the car out of the drive.

Shopping for myself and Elsie so we can make stews.

Got wine .....

Working

Proof reading this week Albert is shopping and cooking😐

Germany

Germany likes me today.

Dear Petula

Petula Bucket, is that really your name?

Of course Albert knows about Bert and you say I should shift the power in my blog ..............

I have a white wine that needs drinking.

Dancing

Lindy hopping with Bert tonight.

Another postcard

Today's postcard has a turtle on it, postmarked Wales - it is nice to receive Mail but the sender remains a mystery.

The postman knocked twice

I am the proud owner of a postcard with a picture of a resplendent quetzal on the front - no signature and I do not recognise the writing.

Perhaps it is from Veronica?

Found it .....

I found my mouse, I put it away safely - sorry Albert.

Lost

My mouse is missing and Albert denies seeing It? 

Shopping

A boring day today.

Russis

I am surprised Russia understand me but they like me.

Free

I have free hair cuts for six months and a bunch of daffodils. 

Forget the hair

I took Angelique Lavender out for her birthday last night and booked a table beforehand.

We were the only ones in the pub oh and a man and his dog!  

Never mind we had a laugh and a good meal.

Now for the hairdresser .........

Not going out

Staying in until tomorrow when I am visiting the hairdresser wearing a big hat!

A risk

I tried a new hairdresser today for a cut -  part of her conversation with me : after the 'are you going anywhere nice' was she had tried a new cigarette last night and today she was still a bit high?

I have not looked in the mirror yet ........

A new toy

Albert is still enjoying his new Vacuum! 

Veronica

I will set off to search for her in summer, not in the snow.

What a disappointment

I was called to an audition but sacked because my hair is purple!

Writing

Today I have written two chapters of my book the allotment news letter and Albert is still out walking .......

Albert returned

Of course Albert came back Troy of Newcastle - he is now doing 20,000 steps a day.

I am not going with him.

Late morning

I got up late this morning and there is no sign of Albert.

He cannot be in the loft or is he?  I will check later .......

Ireland

Ireland likes me this week - I wonder what happened to Mary from Sligo?  

She smelt of Devon Violet perfume if you ever meet her.

Book club update

Message for Vincent from Cardiff:

I am not upset about the book club, I did not agree with Hazel's choice of books so I tended to say "no comment" - like the television police interviews!

I have been asked to run my own book club but have declined as I don't like to leave Albert alone!!!!!

Breaking news

According to the BBC walking 10,000 steps a day is pointless - I am not telling Albert!

Book club horror

I have been thrown out the local book club!

A job

I forgot to tell Albert I was helping out at a local book shop - I love it!

Dinner was out of the freezer and a disaster as the unmarked container was stewed plums and not casseroled beef .........

Headache

A late night and too many glasses of white wine last night! 

Murder

Paul Smithson-Clarke - I keep telling you I have not murdered Veronica; life has changed for both of us and I am sure I will catch up with her eventually.

As to murdering Albert ............

My old school mates

Out tonight with a great gang of friends - I am going out early to save seats and open a bottle of Rioja.

I have left Albert a rabbit stew.

Vacuum

Albert has bought a new vacuum - I was invited to use it but didn't want to spoil his fun.

Where am I today, sat in a cosy cafe several miles away.

Germany

Germany likes me today.

Nigel's advice

Nigel Slater, the chef was waiting for his oven baked stew when he suddenly went into the garden to wash his garden tools.

So yesterday, thinking of Nigel I washed my garden forks etc ready for spring.

Then I washed my garden anorak and I am ready to go to the allotment.

I still miss Elvis.

Typing

Today's typing is dodgy!

Update

OK Eileen from Stockport - I will tell you now.

I have heard and it may just be a rumour?

    Veronica is now living in Shetland on a      on a small holding with Pedro.

She is no longer scuba diving ..........

Trouble

I burnt the meatballs and the roof is leaking .....

News

I think I have located Veronica.

Tell you tomorrow.

Potting

A busy day today potting out my broad beans - Albert is spring cleaning! 

Travelling with gin

I have been invited to a gin party on Saturday - without Albert.

Library duty

I was reading at the local library today and Albert prepared toast for lunch.

How did that happen?

I am back Cyril.

Albert and I were asked to look after a house by the sea, and a canary.

There was no Internet.

I tried

I tried staying in with Albert but he enters my writing room and starts to dust or move things.

I am not giving up on my writing but have enrolled for three courses, on bizarre subjects which involve travelling and big commitments! 

He said he was cooking, so he will have time to prepare my meals.

Resting

Don't worry Jocelette Albert is fine - he  needs to dust less and stay out of the loft.

Russia

Very popular in Russia today?

........... I could have saved this until tomorrow.

An accident

Albert fell out of the loft.

That's all for today.

Pillow cases

Albert said we needed new pillow cases and pillow covers - off he went shopping whilst I stayed at home to write!

One day I shall be famous and Albert will have a medal in house care.

Ok I should have logged in yesterday!

Perhaps I should change my profile to add Albert?

Albert has suggested we exchange roles but as yet I am waiting for him to cook the meal from yesterday. 

I will just go out and write somewhere secret and continue to search for Veronica.

See you tomorrow!