I forgot

Veronica is cross with me – I promised to bake her cake and it is too late now; I will buy her a bottle of red wine and then she will forget about the cake.

 

What was it

It was a cheese and daffodil sandwich.

 

Not an onion

Albert has been ill, I told him not to take things from my allotment and they were clearly marked daffodil bulbs – I was worried but he is ok now.

 

My friend

Veronica is on holiday in Cornwall, if you meet her ask about Eunice.

 

 

 

A job

I have to go to work – I could be an airline pilot or a professional bird scarer, you will never know.

My name could even be Norman?

I have ten days to get ready so I shall be in touch.

 

Vases and copper balls

When Albert and I married we received blankets and vases as presents, you did not have wedding lists then.  The blankets have long since gone to better places but I still have lots of vases which I occasionally clean with my magic copper balls - you swish them round the inside of the vase and leave to stand for a while.

Whilst I have been unwell Albert has been in charge and he emptied the rubbish from a vase down the sink; yes my magic copper balls.

Yet again I am speechless.

 

Sick

I have been unwell, could have been chicken flu.

Busy

I am very busy at the moment closing down my allotment; I was trying to identify a new plant which turned out to be a 6 ft radish. 

Albert bought me a new spade which was very kind of him; he has not offered to help me dig though.

Back later, taking Elvis with me for company.

 

Brian

My last story reminded me of Brian, the husband of a friend, he was at an airport and sat at the next table was Ali McCoist celebrity sports person.  Brian wanted the sports results and headed for the next table to ask the bloke there for his newspaper; Ali thought it was an autograph moment.

Fooled you.

Famous people

I went to the local railway station today to meet up with relatives, I sat next to a famous actor and purposely ignored him; he was surprised.  I busied myself reading the inscription on the bench, he had to move over and then asked him the time; eventually he could not help himself, he asked me if I knew who he was – of course I did.

No I am not telling you who he was.

More apples

I returned home to find three more bags of apples and four marrows – help.

Apron

Violet Rose gave me a present of two aprons which she purchased from Brigitte Home Stores and were fully guaranteed fireproof; imagine her surprise to read that I had set fire to my apron.

Not a problem Violet Rose, it was my gardening apron given to me by Veronica and not fail safe fireproof.

 

Bag of apples

I should not have mentioned to friends that my apple tree was on strike – I now have five bags to peel; what am I going to do with them all.

I will telephone Veronica tomorrow.

A hat

I was going to crochet Veronica a new hat on the bus yesterday, I suppose I could sit in the garden and do it – now what colour would she not like?

 I will forgive her eventually.

 

Saint of the Day

It is St Lawrence Glustiniani’s day today, I shall inform Veronica.

Not us

If you meet a couple named Eunice and Veronica today it is not us; Veronica has hurt her back whilst skipping and is in bed.

Albert had plans he said – I will go shopping.

Excitement

I am so looking forward to tomorrow, it is like a school trip with red wine.

If you meet two young looking over 60s named Eunice and Veronica; it could be us.

 

A date

Veronica and I have our yearly day out tomorrow, we have a meeting place but no other plans; we will hop on the first bus and find a local Witherspoons for lunch.

I may give you details later.

Revenge story

Veronica telephoned me a few years ago to tell me she had visited a pub on the Yorkshire Moors, it was being looked after by the landlord’s ex girlfriend.

Nothing unusual about that except when you entered the premises the tall blonde Australian lady informed you that you paid what you wished for the food and drink.  In fact she said if you thought the food etc was not worth what you paid you could take your money out of the till on the way out. 

I asked her if she had been drinking and she assured me she had only drunk an orange juice.

I found Albert and we went out on a mission to the Moors, we were greeted by the ex girlfriend as Veronica said we would,  there was a huge table laid out with fancy breads, joints of meats, salads, puddings it was inviting.  There was a hand written sign telling clients that it was up to them to pay or not, the only condition was that you washed up after you had eaten.

The pub was very full and we had to wait for a table to become available.

Would you be surprised to hear that the landlord returned after a two week break to a pub with no stock, he must have been real mean to his ex girlfriend.

 

 

 

 

Revenge

Did I tell you about the lady in the pub, she was an ex girlfriend of the landlord?

I shall tell you later when I have had a half hour keep fit session, no electronic keep fit today because Albert is watching sport.

Later ...

Technical Problems

............................   I cannot contact Veronica because I have lost my tool bars and Tristan is unavailable.

Perhaps I should telephone her?