Looking for Veronica

Have left Albert plugged into his computer and am going out to look for Veronica, he will not miss me.

My birthday

Albert asked me what I would like for my birthday and I gave him a list – new camera, an electronic book, some money? 

Albert disagreed with my first list so I gave him another – lunch at Le Gavroche or dinner at El Celler de Can Roca?

Still no response so I shall ask Veronica.

Next year

I have received an invitation to a wedding next July, Mabel Elizabeth is coming too; she suggested we go for a week – I do not need to tell Albert yet that he has not been invited.

Emails

Albert is practising his computer skills and sending me emails instead of talking to me – he wants Veronica’s email address; I replied in font thirty-six saying no.

Another email, he cannot find sign-out; suppose I should help him.

Alone

Mabel Elizabeth has gone away and left me until Tuesday, what shall I do?  I will not tell Albert.

Armed with my bus pass I have visited a couple of local villages and joined the library so I can use a computer.  I have booked my lunch at the pub nearby and I only have to make a decision to have a coffee or a red wine beforehand or both?

Going to email Veronica now as she does not know where I am.

Moving

Mabel Elizabeth is moving again and I am helping her, I have left Albert a note and telephoned Veronica.

My friends

Albert told me I see too much of my friends.  I can think of no appropriate reply so will text Veronica.

Veronica told me to ignore him unless there was a clause in my wedding vows, perhaps it was because I renewed my vows?

India again

But I am not going, if Albert lent me the money I would go.

Veronica says

Veronica says I cannot go to India, I don’t know why as she has gone to the Dales.  I suppose it is because she would have difficulty in contacting me.

My brother is driving to India to see me.

Could be a problem

My sister in law reads my blog and tells my brother; what if he tells Albert?

Did I say that

Apparently on Saturday evening at the dance I volunteered to do a walk for charity, in India.  I wonder why I did that as I have no money and India is hot, it has been suggested that I can pay in installments.

My problem is Albert he will not understand.

Oh the dance, I did not wear my vest but my feet hurt on Sunday.

A gym

A friend suggested I join a gym if Albert is not looking for a job. 

Albert said I cannot join a gym.

I start on Monday with a personal trainer named Sebastian.

My vest

Albert and I and Tristan, Daisy, Warwick and Bernicia are going to a dinner dance this evening; normally I do not see Albert on a Saturday he is off somewhere with his mates.

Anyway, I met Josie  whilst shopping, she is the sister of a friend’s friend and she suggested I take my vest in my handbag.

Just dying to see the face of Tristan and Warwick when I tell them I am carrying my vest in my handbag, just in case.

The reason for the vest is because it is 8 degrees.

Another birthday

It was Violet Rose’s birthday this week and I went out to celebrate it with her and I did intend to return early.  It was such fun to use one of Albert’s excuses ……. I just met Fred/Peter/David and had to have another drink with them; we met up with friends and it would have been rude to leave.

Love it when you return home laughing and late.

Her birthday

It is Veronica’s birthday today and I wanted to sing happy birthday to her instead I had to sing to her answer machine.

I shall have a drink for her later.

I am upset

In the post today I received two letters giving discount on funeral costs; I shall forward them to Veronica as she is two weeks older than me.

A tenner

Veronica dropped her handbag in a shop and I told her she had left a tenner on the floor, I meant a tena – she hit me.

In Australia a tena comes with a thought of the day ….. cool.

My font

I sent Veronica a message stating that I was having trouble with my font.

Veronica replied asking what was matter with my foot.

Tin of beans

Albert has re-organized my kitchen cupboards and on opening the third cupboard on the left, near the cooker I was hit on the head by a tin of beans.

I was not going to renew my allotment subscription but I have now changed my mind.

Veronica has suggested I have a shed on the allotment and we can have a small select party on warm balmy evenings; I shall think about it.

Woolworths

In the late 1960s whilst at college, Veronica and I enjoyed working in Woolworths but we were not allowed to take our exclusive nylon turquoise overalls home.  It was always pot luck if you managed to find one that fit; it could be up to your knees or swishing around your ankles, very smart.

My red anorak

I have taken my red gardening anorak to the local charity shop, it still has lots of wear in it and I did wash it.  I bought the anorak at a jumble sale thirty three years ago for one pound and when I searched the pockets I found a pound.

When Veronica and I were Saturday girls at our local Woolworths we saved up to buy blue quilted anoraks which we wore with pride, oh dear.

Lego Bricks

Tristan bought Albert and I key rings with lego bricks attached he also has one. 

Tristan called for coffee on Tuesday and I was on my way out with friends (again Albert said) – I grabbed my keys on the way out.

I had only just started to eat my rib eye steak when I received a telephone call from Tristan, could I come outside the restaurant and return his keys, yes I had taken his by mistake; it was the lego brick!

Veronica is still laughing.

Chimney Sweep

It was the squirrel’s fault I needed the chimney swept, what a mess.

A squirrel

I have a squirrel in my chimney; I shall tell Veronica when she gets up.

I need a glass of sherry.

New nightie

Veronica is working nights so she is having a glass of sherry at my breakfast time, her evening and then emailing me – it does not always make sense.

Oh and she has a new nightie to wear to bed during the day?

A candle

I always light candles in a church when I am travelling for my dead mother, friends’ dead mothers and people that are dear to me – dead or not.  Imagine my surprise when I told a friend from Pudsey that she was on my list.

She was silent for a moment or two and then hung up; she rang back later to tell me she was not dead!

 I explained that I had two lists.

Christmas Creek

I was sat in Christmas Creek two weeks ago slapping on factor 50 as it was 30 degrees, drinking a cup of tea with a lovely friend, her dogs Tess and Murphy and Albert.

Was I dreaming?

Birthday outing

Veronica wants to know what we are doing for our joint birthday celebration.

I suggested we do dignified and demure but she wants a deckchair on Scarborough beach, a bag chips and a bottle of red wine.

Sounds like a good idea.

Tristan

I am worried about Tristan – he is listening to radio 2, is this maturity?

I am not being funny but

I am not being funny but – I think this is an English exclamation and I was asked several times whilst in Australia what I meant.

I do not know.

Ernie Dingo

In Sydney we went to the Opera House to see Ernie Dingo, I sat next to a lady who introduced herself as a white European practicing Protestant. What was that all about did I have a sign indicating I was a beautiful blonde collapsed Catholic?

The said lady told me that Ernie Dingo was wonderful and I would like him, she was also an archeologist who worked closely with the Aborigines – I was enthralled with Ernie but she fell asleep.

Before we die spa

My sister in law wants to come with Veronica and I to the before we die spa, you remember the £1,000 option; problem is do we have long should we go soon or wait a while?

it rained

Brisbane was wet one day so we went to the movies (sounds American) to see The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel.

I now want to go to India preferably with Judy Dench, Maggie Smith and Bill Nighy – Albert said he is not coming.

Albert's Decision

Albert has told me he is not travelling any more – he thinks I shall agree to visiting Rhyl or similar destinations.

No chance.

Man Sheds

These are sheds provided by local councils in Australia where tradesmen etc meet up to offer advice to people, make things and get away from their wives.

Veronica thought it was were you could collect a man?

Friends in warmer places

I have several friends in Australia and my children (and Albert’s of course) want to know why I did not emigrate.

Another story – I was all set to go with a friend from work and then I met Albert; he has a lot to answer for.

Also do my children not realize that in theory they would not be here?

Drinking Tiger Beer

After drinking Tiger Beer in China Town, Singapore I had my hair cut at 9 p.m. on Sunday night – it is the best cut I have ever had for less than a fiver.  I now have a loyalty card and could return for a discount; I have had poorer excuses for a holiday.

Waving in Singapore

I saw Bill Grainger, the Australian Chef in Singapore and waved at him – he waved back I bet he thought I was famous.  He is nice.

Great Escape

It didn’t happen as Albert insisted on accompanying me to Australia.  People stories are different whilst I am with Albert but nevertheless there was a few to share.

One evening in Palm Cove near Cairns we had to walk home through flood water not bad in itself but we were only feet away from the beach which was closed due to an invasion of crocodiles.