A South Sea Island

My brother Granger has asked me to send him a large grass skirt if I move to Grenada, and a coconut; he will pay postage if I am not returning.

Killed Off

Eunice and Albert are thinking of moving to a South Sea Island where Albert can walk by the sea and Eunice can write a novel.  The friendship between Eunice and Veronica will still be strong as they will email and skype every day ……………….

Or Eunice could murder Albert and seek refuge with friends in Australia?

Not Again

Albert has been hit on the head by a Bramley Apple, the bruise is spectacular.

Tool Bars

Gremlins or Albert have been using my computer, as my tool bars are back?

Snow Warning

I bought Albert a new snow shovel today, it is pink.

Local Paper

I have had two letters published in the local paper this week – Veronica said it is apparent I have not dusted for a while; what does she mean?

At My Allotment

Whilst at my allotment I wrote a story about a leaf, how he was the last one left on the branch, his mother, father and siblings all gone lost on the floor; was his destiny to be left alone lonely and cold or would he too join his family fated to be trodden on or used as mulch? It was much longer, in fact 3 pages and a very complicated family tree.

Veronica said I should publish it.

Lost Tool Bar

I took my lap top (and candles) to the allotment last night and now I have lost my tool bars. 

Veronica cannot help me.

My Blog

No time to blog – if I take my laptop and candles to the allotment I could keep up.

I am sick of spinach, I wonder if Popeye has any relatives left?

Another School Reunion

We had another ‘do’ last night but Veronica was unable to attend; when I have washed my mobile (in case it is dirty) I shall send her a text. 

Doreen Again

Doreen once came to work and laid on the floor because she had a bad back – I sent her home as she could not safely type in that position.  Veronica said I should have been kinder?

Garlic Sandwiches and Aniseed Balls

I once worked with a lady named Doreen who brought garlic sandwiches to work, but her party piece were her aniseed balls that she offered to visitors.  Back to the aniseed balls; Doreen had brought them to work after she cleared out her Aunt Sybil’s house – ten years previously.

More Scones

I found some out of date blue cheese in the fridge and made Albert some scones – I am watching his progress.

Jam Tarts

Bother I burnt my jam tarts and Elvis does not like our new milk. 

Think I shall text Veronica.

Maude from Wigan

Maude from Wigan wants to know where I have been.

Well I think I have writer’s block or perhaps it is Albert block; he keeps talking to me or singing whilst I am typing ……….   What am I to do?

Veronica and I are in touch by email at the moment it is safer.

My Chiropodist

I love the receptionist at my chiropodist, she said I did not look old enough to claim O.A.P. discount – my feet are older than I look

My Diary

My diary told me that I had scones and marmalade in Scotland; and in the afternoon - we have marmalade for breakfast and on toast.

 

An Email

I had an email from Freddy Fudd Pucker today; he is a popular singer in New Zealand. 

Albert does not approve.

Moon Garden in October

I am still picking strawberries on my allotment and my raspberries are growing again, is it the weather or the moon?

 

What are Friends for

I asked Veronica what are friends for?  She knows what I mean having sent off for details of adopting an ex-battery hen for me; what am I going to do with it.

celebrity Magazine

I wrote to OK Magazine today, asking if they would like the privilege of writing about Eunice and Veronica.  

We can compete with Jordon any day.

Pigs

Veronica is worried about pigs. Apparently in 2003 E.U. Regulations decreed that in future pigsties must have a minimum of one toy for the inmates to play with.  We live in a City so I am wondering how many pigsties she has visited?

I will buy her a job lot of footballs and she can deliver them to her favourite pigs.

A Horse Chestnut Tree

Albert was sat in the shade under a Horse Chestnut Tree and he was hit on the head by a conker; I immediately sang “don’t sit under the apple tree with anyone else but me” but he did not laugh? 

He still has a bruise and will not let me talk about it.

In County Durham

Albert and I went to visit friends in County Durham this weekend – it was a weekend of pastoral viewing and social intercourse.

Chutney

Last week I made chutney (tomato and banana) – I was still bottling it at 1 a.m. in the morning, as according to a New Zealand cookery book it is best made after midnight.  I gave Veronica a jar and she now thinks I should join the W.I. and sing Jerusalem.