Jobs and things

Did I mention what we do/did for a living, no – then I shall begin.

Veronica is some kind of nurse, a tall one I think

I was someone of great consequence in an office; I kept a diary of events which at some point I shall share with you, if you wish?

Before I was important I once did temporary work for a local builder where his wife offered me a cup of tea in a jam jar because they did not give casual staff cups.  I only nudged the offending jam jar slightly and it spilt over the switchboard which immediately fizzed and burst into flames ……………. I was very surprised.

What do I do now, drink sherry, play the piano, write,  keep in touch with my pal Veronica and go on holiday with Albert.

A Tattoo

Did I mention my husband; I shall call him Albert to protect his identity - he is worried that Veronica and I are having an ‘official’ day out ………………. just because we came home with a tattoo last year!

An Arrest

I was asked to leave a shop yesterday with my arms above my head whilst holding my mobile phone; I refused.  My mobile phone sets off alarms and I am on first name terms with several store detectives. 

I told the policeman who tried to arrest me yesterday that it was not my fault.

Veronica refuses to go shopping with me.

 

Quiche and ginger wine

I had lunch with Veronica yesterday; quiche and ginger wine(s)  I told her my Mary Black c.d. was sticking.  She then related a story about Mary Black, how she had acquired tickets for her show from her Mother-in-law’s cousin’s sister’s hairdresser and how much she had enjoyed the show; and I would have liked it.

I am worried now because my c.d. is still sticking and I went to the show with Veronica.

Through the window

We once spent a weekend in a convent .......  escaping through the window to hit the town and drink in the 'usual' station buffet.

Imagine our surprise, on our return to be greeted by three nuns who had been searching the local pubs for us.

Drinking in Station Buffets

We drank in station buffets so my parents could not find us and you could also buy a packet of mints with your half of bitter. We met some unusual people too, we once saw Sean Connery and Glenda Jackson, not together you understand and we waved enthusiastically at Sophie Gregson but she did not wave back. 

A Competition

I entered a competition today, the prize being a week on a writing course, somewhere near Hebdon Bridge …………… what if I win, what if they say I can write; what if they say I am funny, raucous, fascinating, remarkable or just plain dull and boring.

What if I am ‘spotted’ and write a book, shall the book be drop shadowed or embossed?

Decision, decisions – I shall ask Veronica she will know.

The Other Gnome

His name is Bongo, he is the juicy orange one.

I wonder if he misses Norman?

Garden Gnomes

After my Mum died I re-housed her garden gnomes – I do not like them even though I painted both in fashionable colours; luminous lime and juicy orange!

Today the head fell off Norman; I do hope it is not a bad omen.

Our School

Oh no, I have arranged a school reunion in June and people from Bradford are asking me about hotel accommodation.  I cannot remember our school being in Bradford, should I ask Veronica?

Checked the website and they have put their names on the wrong school – should I let them come?

A Long Walk

Veronica is on a walking holiday in Whitby, she suggested we meet for ginger wine in the station buffet. It should not take any longer than 4 hours if I set off now?

Over the Hill and Far Away

My Adventure with Mabel Elizabeth was a trip to Scotland, sorry but I am keeping the location secret in case a bus load of Eunice and Veronica fans arrive and the price goes up.

We had a cup of tea overlooking Scott’s View and met a very trendy gamekeeper in Traquair House.

We dropped in at country houses and put our names down for a special salmon fishing weekend next year, yes £300 for 2 nights was ok.  We did not leave our names but said we would contact them nearer the time?

We did a lot of walking and talking and remembered the time we booked into a nudist hotel in Tasmania by mistake …………. I cannot tell you now it would spoil the surprise.

Another Away Day(s)

I am disappearing again until Monday, Mabel Elizabeth is taking me on an adventure; last time she took me away I told a man in a pub I was Mick Jagger’s P.A. and a famous author – he kept asking for my autograph. 

I have promised to be quiet this time and not tell lies to strangers, well not whilst she is listening.

What a School

Veronica and I attended an exclusive Girls’ School where Mrs. Grainger would not tell us what the 6^th commandment was and a nun ran off with the caretaker.

Closing of Woolworths

It’s gone then, part of our childhood, youth and adulthood – it was fashionable to meet outside Woolies for a date; it was a landmark when you didn’t know street names. 

In the 1940s Veronica's Auntie Lilly demonstrated yo-yos in the window.

And there's more,  you will have to wait.

Royal Observer Corp again

.......... Did I mention that we were the only 'girls' in the group, we were very popular?

We went to an open day years later and caused mayhem but I shall save that story for another day.

An Away Day

Veronica decided I was a collapsed Christian and was determined to do something about it – she was taking me to a Cathedral in Middlesbrough for an event. 

We set off in her car equipped with a satellite navigator as my knowledge of junctions is in doubt, but we could not hear the instructions and were unable to turn the volume up.   Veronica had to drive with her nose almost on the windscreen for the whole journey.

To make matter worse her passenger seat was loose and I kept overtaking her and then was shunted unceremoniously to the back of the car at great speed; conversation was difficult as we were laughing so much and the satellite navigator lady kept interrupting.

 

Royal Observer Corp

Many years ago at a local village Show, a handsome young man in a uniform asked us if we would like to do something exciting.  As a rule we did not do exciting, we had only ever had a day away in Knaresborough together!  Veronica lived in town but I lived in a village and to travel to the R.O.C. was a ‘long journey’, it was perhaps three miles away!  After much consideration we agreed to join.

We felt so important at the first meeting as we had to sign the Official Secrets Act, then we were issued with our R.A.F. type uniforms; we thought we looked wonderful but did not like the shoes.  Veronica's family used to watch her leave the house and dash round to another window to see her walking so proudly down the street in her uniform.

What did we do?  We plotted bomb fall out charts on the wall and one night did an all night exercise – on bomb fall out!  God help everyone if there had been a war in our first month but we did get better. 

We went to the pub after the meetings and we were paid expenses for travelling and attending the meetings, we were a part of history.

Been away

and then there was a man called Seaweed and his girlfriend was Dimple!